Space Rock -- Weezer

I really do fancy Weezer. I don't really know any recent tunes by them, my love is only based on the older CDs of Weezer that I found lying around the house...one of which is missing...! Jeez I totally forgot that I was supposed to be searching for it, I think I was supposed to do that a month ago, the dear sibling must be fuming.

Spent a hell of a time at Kino yesterday, but I fought the urge to get more random books about the history of Spain, it was hard fighting it, I had to pinch myself on both arms. Which of course, frightened some of the stuffy old people around me milling about the military history section, they must have thought I was re-enacting some brutal wartime punishment on myself. The book that I was making eyes at is titled "THE GHOSTS OF SPAIN", ooooooooooh.

Yeah, it is not exactly like an AHHHHHHHHHH thriller on centuries-worth of unexplained mysteries in Spain, but it is about the country's modern history, and the repercussions of the Spanish civil war/Franco's brutal regime and the rise of feminism and the downfall of portly old men like Jesus Gil (PRONOUNCED AS HAYYYY-SOOOOS! I have to get that sorted out before people think I am being anti-Christ or something like that, it is a legitimate Spanish name, a name that a certain waif-like green-eyed footballer named Navas goes by. You might have seen his eyeballs sparkling away a few posts below).

Some important things I have learnt from that book (which I spent an hour and a half leaning on a wall reading, HIGHLY NOT RECOMMENDED, got up today with a massive ENORMOUS backache and neckache, thank you very much for removing those benches Kino):

1) Euskadi. Catalunya. Galicia. Breakaway states.

--> But I already knew all that. The things football teaches you about regional Spanish politics.

2) Spanish dialects are all very distinct, and the cultural differences between the regions of Spain are not celebrated but are in fact, used as tools for bickering.

--> But I also already knew that. Most of their road signs are in their regional languages, not in so-called Castellano/Castillian Spanish.

--> Also, you have to hear Xabi Alonso speak to understand what I mean about Spanish dialects.

--> And after that, you have to listen to men like Sergio Ramos speak, Andalucians have a different way of talking too.

--> Actually, you can choose to listen to Jesus Navas instead of Sergio Ramos, because not only does Navas have the same accent as Ramos, but he also has a more interesting voice (the first time I heard him, I had no idea it was him talking until I saw the vague movements of his lips. If you have somehow stumbled upon my blog and are reading this, Navas, don't get me wrong, the voice is certainly unique, with a lot of personality...VITALITY! Yes, that is the word. He sounds excited all the time even when he is sad, I don't know how he would sound when he is SINCERELY excited!). So I would like to actually recommend Navas instead of Ramos.

--> If you would still like to listen to Ramos speak, I would recommend you listen to him speaking English instead of Spanish, because that will make your day. Ramos has that effect on people, even though it is not usually his intention.

--> In fact, you might want to youtube this golf advert that Ramos did with Wayne Rooney, HOW did they come up with such a strange pair, putting Ramos and Rooney together is like putting...ME and Angelina Jolie together to do a detergent advert.

Where was I?

3) To understand the regional differences in Spain, you have to look deep into its history, and the differences were pronounced mostly during the Spanish civil war, and exploited by a certain man named Francisco Franco.

--> Me writing about Spanish history in detail would not do them justice, so I recommend you read books by Spanish people or by people who have spent decades following the progress of the country.

4) Real Madrid = Right-wing political tool

--> I am tired of talking about this, and frankly lots of Real Madrid fans are peeved at being associated with Franco. Sadly, it is the truth. And they will have to live with that.

--> On this note, I would like to declare how disgusted I am that Esteban Granero and de la Red (I HAVE YET TO FIND OUT HIS FIRST NAME, REMEMBER TO CHECK!) will be returning to the Bernabeu after their loan spell at Getafe this season. That is fantastic news for some I suppose, since I trust that Granero and de la Red will make talented grass-cutters/bench cheerleaders/laundrymen/mannequins.

5) Spain is considerably liberal in Europe, of course after the Netherlands and Germany.

--> How on earth am I supposed to comment on this without sounding incredibly perverse...

--> Apparently, there was supposed to be a law declaring "sex-zones" for the young, since most Spanish people live with their parents till they are about 30 (except Fernando Torres), and if you have not already figured out by now, the proposed law will allow young Spanish people to, you know, bond with each other at certified dark areas, instead of having to confuse their parents with strange sounds from their bedrooms. However, the law fell thru and some politician was quoted as saying, rather insensitively as some people had remarked, that "the young people should just go find their own places!".

Muahahaha the things they debate about there. If we ever mumbled anything like that in this country, I think half the population would get strokes.

6) Spain is the best place to be pregnant in.

--> This post is taking quite a bizarre turn, especially since I am commenting about this right after talking about the proposed law on sex-zones. It is not meant to be a dirty and impure post.

--> It is a brilliant place to be pregnant in (notice I did not say a brilliant place to GET pregnant in, muahahaha the difference one word would make) because pregnant women are raised on a pedestal in Spain. Spanish people love children, and family is the most important unit in Spain, so Spanish people would break down in tears when they see young mommies waddling with strollers and bowling ball stomachs.

--> In a way, you can say that Spanish children are spoilt and coddled to the core. However, there is a difference between being spoilt and being spoilt ROTTEN. Based on what I have seen and what I know, Spanish children in general are beautiful little things, and they aren't ROTTING like most of the brats I face here in this country. Spanish children are little princes and princesses, but few of them are rude. Except for those who kept STARING at my face (because they could not figure out WHERE I was from, since I did not respond to KONICHIWA and NI HAO) and at my cousins' faces, perhaps because they thought my cousin was the Smashing Pumpkins guy, he was mistaken before by some Spanish people hahahahaaha.

--> The book also talked about how this old Spanish man moved to England and spent his first few weeks pinching boys' cheeks (their face cheeks I hope, ass cheeks would give a whole other meaning) and talking up little girls. Instead of welcoming this sweet harmless old man with open arms, the COPS were called in and he was hauled to the police station for suspected paedophilic tendencies.

--> I must say, based on my time in Spain, the old people are cute like that yes. Affectionately approaching young strangers to compliment their appearance or to make conversation would be creepy to most people visiting Spain, but pretty normal for them. Of course, there can be such a thing as TOO affectionate, have I ever mentioned how that old Spanish lady (my uncle's friend's mother) was practically having an orgasm talking about then-jailbait Fernando Torres?

--> Also, be prepared to be reprimanded by random Spanish people if you "mistreat" your children. Perhaps if you were gripping your child's arm a little too tightly, expect to be approached and taught the proper way to do it.

Just imagine what the Spanish people would do when they see how parents/teachers here whack their kids/students with all sorts of power tools.

Yes, I do not support tough love. Although most children here deserve to be slapped (believe me, the urge comes occasionally), I do not believe it does anybody any good. Children are homosapiens/human beings/living organisms for god's sake, not scarecrows.

7) The Costa del Sol is being invaded by the Russian mafia and British runaway criminals. And by my cousins, because they have a house there, but that is a different thing altogether.

--> Costa del Crime. At least, that is what the alarmed British people call the area. Very funny, considering it is mostly because of them that it's got that reputation.

In high-luxury places like California, every posh area has a seedy underbelly. Where there is money, there are drugs. Where there are drugs...the cycle is a long one.

It was an interesting, amusing book, which I would have liked to read in much greater detail (and while SITTING DOWN, rather than when I was trying to come up with 15000 comfortable positions while leaning against a cold hard wall), but I am still midway thru my "The Story of Spain" book, and I have promised to punch myself if I dared to buy another book. I will read it some other lifetime I suppose.

It was a terror day yesterday, not only was I knocked about 5000 times by women with GARGANTUAN ladybags (WHY DO PEOPLE NEED SUCH HUMONGOUS BAGS, how many dead bodies do they have in there??), but I was also THE UNFORTUNATE RECEIVER OF A MAN'S SENSELESS AND THOUGHTLESS SNEEZE. Nearly jumped out of my skin, that sneaky man slithered up from NOWHERE, and SNEEZED to his heart's content, and of all places he thought of to turn to, it had to be in MY DIRECTION. I leapt about 3 steps away from him, and I would have done it more gracefully and less destructively if he had not surprised me like that, because I was actually deep in thought (next time, I will make sure to only think simple thoughts on trains, no more deep thoughts!). He looked a little bit wounded, but what did he expect me to do, pat him on the back with a smile and say, "That was not powerful enough, try again?".

The hygiene levels here are absurd. It reminds me of when this woman spat ON THE FLOOR ON THE BUS, I wanted to kill myself right there. But then, I thought that was a foolish way to make a statement about cleanliness, considering I would probably make a greater mess if I did that.

ANYWAY! I just caught American Idol.

Truth be told, it bored me this week. But they should not take it that personally, I have found myself getting bored over almost everything the past few days, I think it is the scorching heat.

Yeah, there is no real connection there but never mind.

The only song I knew of this week is that "Sweet Caroline" song, and I tried to sing along with David Archu but he kept interrupting me. Sigh.

So, here is what I think, because I fancy myself a fourth American Idol judge:

1) JASON CASTROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

A little bit disappointing, and I am starting to wonder if my jinxy cursed powers are back? I started supporting him just 2 weeks ago, and that is when all the judges started to criticize him. From stellar performances to bland performances, down in one fell swoop.

I am starting to take it personally I'll say. It is like how I told my dear sibling, "Oh, I really like Thierry Henry." and BAM, he got sent off a few minutes after that.

At Leandra's house during the world cup of 2002, we were watching a US-Mexico game and I hollered, "GO MEXICOOOOOOOOOOO!" and the US scored a few seconds after.

I rest my case.

Back to Senor Castro. Well, he did better than last week I thought, and he did throw in a lot more megawatt smiles to WOW Simon off his chair (which did not work, sadly) but he ended up with burning words from all the judges. The lad looked a little bit hurt, but then he's been making a lot of strange expressions these couple of weeks...

His voice isn't strong enough. He sounds so much like somebody but I just cannot put my hand to it, I know I said Jesse McCartney before, but there is also somebody else. One of the Hanson brothers (I can never remember who is who)? The Jonas Brothers (Have I mentioned that I have no idea who is who)? The Moffatts (The only band where I can actually differentiate which brother is which, which is ironic because 3 of them are triplets)?

He has got the perfect boyband voice (I'm back to talking about Jason Castroooooooo!), with the occasional deep-breathing and everything that Justin Timberlake mastered very coolly (which I remember my mom commented on when I was 11, "Why is this Justin always breathing and panting so hard?"). Sadly, the judges didn't seem to like his whole breathing act, which I didn't really mind because it made him more, I dunno, human you know? Because all humans need to breathe at some point.

You know what, never mind.

Time to practise performing some tribal chants, Jason! He's got too sweet a voice I think, maybe he should watch how the New Zealand rugby team does their Hakka chant, THAT is the aggression I want. Although Randy, Paula and Simon might fail to agree with me. Here Jason, just in case you are severely depressed and at a loss and are, for some reason, actually reading my blog:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3K-UKp9dDFM

WATCH AND LEARN, JASON! One of them has dreadlocks, just like you!(One of the South African players looks like he's enjoying it, I would too if somebody did that to me hahahahaha.)

GREAT, now that Jonas Brothers song is in my head, I think it is that S.O.S one, HELPPPPPPP.

2) David COOK!

Am only paying attention to him because bizarre Izzah instructed me to do so, and because I feel sorry for her still slothing thru exams.

He likes to bend his knees when he sings.

Week after week after week, whenever he goes into the high "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" notes, like he is going thru some deathly ritual or as if somebody was piercing his chest with a spear, HE WOULD BEND HIS KNEES.

\ \
\ \
/_ /_

LIKE WHAT I HAVE TRIED TO DRAW ABOVE!

Yeah, that looks more like he's got Transformer legs, but that is how his legs act when he sings. I bet I am not the only one who notices such things, it is a little bit distracting because there he is with a dramatic face and wolf-like howl and then his knees are like giving way, like his bladder is too full.

Otherwise, he sings good. My candidate for American Idol, that is, if he does something about the legs.

3) Brooke...somethingsomething (I really have to check out her last name one day, as well as de la Red's first name...So many things to remember, so little brain space!)

I would really like to ignore her, because she irritates me. I did not like her first performance, I thought it was very karaoke, which was exactly what Simon said and I wanted to pat him on the back for saying it. If I were there that is.

However, credits to her for her second performance. The end.

4) David Archu (I have given up trying to figure out his last name, everytime Ryan Seacrest says it, I would try to figure out how to spell it, and then I would be distracted and miss the first part of his performance, which always explains why I never have anything much to say about his singing. So from now on, he will have to DEAL with being referred to as David Archu.)

Yes, I was not paying attention to his performances. I did, however, notice that his voice got a little bit strange on one of the notes for the second song, and I thought I saw his face TWITCH when he did that, possibly in a "oh-my-god-what-did-my-stupid-voice-just-do" kind of twitch, but maybe he twitches all the time and I was just reading too much into it. But I could have sworn I heard him go off-key at that part, and I promise you he twitched because of that.

If I see him someday, that is the first thing I will ask him. The second question I will ask him after that would be if he would let me go, because he would probably try to have me arrested for the first question.

5) Syesha (all hope is not lost, I actually remembered how to spell her name!)

She is starting to be a Brooke. Pouting at the judges when they criticize her, you know, the works. Criticism can be a terrible thing, but don't make faces or try to argue with the judges because that will only make you come across as arrogant.

I like her singing, but attitude always decides it for me.

As such, my candidate for American Idol is...DAVID COOK! Followed by...NO ONE! Followed by...ME!

Hey, one can dream yes? If there was a Boyz2Men week, I would OWN that.

Yeah, maybe not.

So, Chelsea-Liverpool tonight! I do not want to say anything, because of said jinxy cursed powers. It is obvious which team I support, and which team I find absolutely disgusting.

I will just quietly go eat my dinner now. Until later!

Signed,

Sincerely, me

Pearlyn Silva