Homosexuality as a Neutral Word.

It's not easy trying to remember usernames for accounts I check up on once every 6 months or so. It took me a while to remember that I even had a blog! To be honest, it was mine and Sam's. Suddenly it became mine. And to further imprint that in everyone's brains, I am going to change the layout when I finally possess the technical ability to do so. The blog layout around here is unpleasant to the eye, whereas the new layout that I have in mind will feature 5 Korean boys who have, somehow, rapped their way into my little cloistered oyster. RAPPED. I don't even like rap, has anyone HEARD me beatbox?! Time and time again, it sounds like I am suffering from a terminal disease when I try. Korean rap is different, however. Perhaps because the teenybopper rap I listen to is so close to pop music that it can actually pass off as something you can actually pretend to dance to, rather than a real off-the-alleyways hip-hop beat.

In fact, I dance to such "pretty boy rap" when I think no one is looking, and when I am semi-sure that everybody in my family is safely in their beds or locked in their rooms. And after having done that for many months and after being lulled into a dull sense of complacency, I stopped paying attention to the possibility that someone would, one day, barge into my room when I least expect it (like when I am in the middle of a Korean dance battle with my mirror reflection). When that happened, I had to suddenly awkwardly PIROUETTE balletish style to pretend I was pulling a classical ballet move instead of the cringe-worthy dance moves to Big Bang's "Sunset Glow" song. I could have DIED. And it had to be the chorus, when they go "I love you girl" and they do that really embarrassing hand thing when they are crouched in a strange position (oh my god, go check it out if you don't know what I'm talking about, I'm making it sound worse than it really is) and thank all the gods that I wasn't SINGING along, because that would just sound really narcissistic and self-indulgent (might I remind you, I was dancing to my REFLECTION). And I forgot my original point.

And don't even wonder what happened when I was inspired by 2pm's (Korean b-boy group) breakdancing abilities, and because I have no brains and no mental processing abilities, I thought it would be cool if I tried to replicate such moves in the comfort of my own bed and in full confidence of my non-existent arm muscles.

I could have lost my thumb that night? Pssh. The one thing I gained from this is perhaps sanity, and my mind back. I am now more careful about replicating moves that I see from Youtube videos, just because 2pm's b-boy performances don't have a "don't try this at home" tag doesn't mean I should go ahead and pretend that I am Tarzan.

Oh but if anyone wishes to teach me breakdancing, please holler. I think it's really cool when people do those FLIPS, you know? Like all of a sudden they're standing so calmly and stiffly, with these stony expressions, and suddenly they're flipping like dolphins on land, which is a weird expression of course because dolphins obviously don't flip on land without dying...but anyway it's cool. Suddenly it sounds more like Kungfu than breakdancing, but no I really mean breakdancing.

I think the above paragraphs started after I shared with the world that I wanted to change my layout to a Big Bang one. As in the Korean hippyhoppy/boyband/boy group, not the huge theory that has got all these scientists up in arms. Though that would be kinda cool too, if I could find a layout which has an explosion effect like the Big Bang, it will be stunning. You know, all this mindless chatter I am engaging in now is a result of not blogging for months on end, all that repressed speech, with only my reflection to dance to at home.

So anyway, there has been lots of...drama these days. The whole issue of homosexuality has been thrown up yet again, and it pains me that some people just don't get it? Or don't want to? That's your prerogative I guess. But if people come to me talking about stamping out minorities and disregarding them and not treating them as normal when they are obviously human enough...that's when I get frustrated, you know? It is ok if you don't like them, just stop the endless talk about how an alternative lifestyle will lead to this and that and this and that and hey, the world might end soon enough. Yeah, the power of the world these minorities possess in their hands.

Homosexuality, in my opinion, is a neutral word. Hey, it's a fair world. We all came the same way, we all live in the same space, we are all trying to survive, we are all trying to love, we are all trying to contribute. The minute people stop attaching a stigma to this socially-constructed term used to stamp out people who are different from the mainstream is the time when people have learnt to accept, and move on.

Neutral. That means it can go either way. To be honest, my individual opinions would even fall under pro-gay, but for the sake of society and for the sake of a balanced argument, I will say it's best to leave it as neutral if we talk about it in sex ed in schools. To say it's positive would be one extreme, that will disregard the religions that prohibit it. To say it's NEGATIVE, however, is scary as well. In such a case, we are doomed to marginalize the religions that do not consider it as wrong, as well as people who do not subscribe to any religion whatsoever.

If we were truly a sensitive society which promoted equality, which promoted inclusiveness of all mankind, then we would leave the word as it is. Neutral. Leave it to the young minds to decide on their own. They are smarter than we think. How naive is it to think that talking about homosexuality is promoting it in schools? In that case, maybe we shouldn't talk about Hitler in schools, what if there is a neo-Nazi movement? Maybe we shouldn't teach biology, what if the children realize that their body parts can be used for reproduction purposes? The horror.

Not talking about things make such things taboo, and perpetuates the stigma to a socially-constructed term that was neutral when some bright person first coined it. People learn to be scared of it, and people learn to avoid it. Prejudice, discrimination, stereotypes...it is endless what happens after that. Discussing such topics in schools, telling the children that it is neutral is not going to make a light bulb suddenly go off in the children's minds -- "Hey, homosexuality is a neutral term. Let's go engage in some after school." -- Sure, there is always that fear that such a thing might happen. You know, children have no minds of their own and do not know anything right? Riiiight.

Keeping it as a neutral term shows that we have advanced as a tolerant society. A mature society that accepts diversity in all its forms, as long as we are socially responsible in our behaviour and do not hurt anyone. Why fight it? Why try to change them? Remember that everyone is different, and that trying to change that not only makes you a tyrant, but a totalitarian and overbearing one at that. Accept it and move on. The scary thing about saying that homosexuality is negative will make those who fall under such a category feel dirty and guilty, through no fault of theirs. If you believe it is wrong, so be it. But remember that there are people here who do not believe that it is. So why force this ideology down on every single person? Isn't that similar to forcing down your opinions on others, and your lifestyle on others? Yep, you have a good life, just know that people will be suffering under your rules.

And for the last time, homosexuality is not contagious. Perhaps it's all this talk about the swine flu that is also capturing the news, and people just get confused and start thinking after that that acknowledging homosexuals in the society will lead to an inclination towards an "alternative lifestyle"...where do people even get such ideas? All this fear is just making people think irrationally. Honestly.

Basically, all that pish posh I've been rattling about is just my way of saying that taking on an extreme stand in a contentious issue is not the way to go. In every single thing we do, we should always take a balanced approach, because whatever you do and say will have an impact on someone else, believe it or not. The bad thing about being extremely pro or extremely anti is that you start to lose your rationality to even think in the minds of people on the other side. So what do we do as a compromise? You got it. Keep homosexuality as a neutral word.

And for the last time, for people who are wondering (and I know because people have asked me before), I'm not even homosexual. You don't have to be one to know that they deserve a place in society, that they are one of us. I hate this us-against-them idea, it shouldn't exist and I hope it doesn't by this lifetime. Then again, look at how civil rights have been extended to racial minorities, and rights have been extended to females in most countries. All in the span of this century. Let's add sexual minorities to this current century, shall we? Don't try to fight it, accept that societies evolve and societies change, just like our predecessors who lobbied for equal rights back then. Only then can we move on.

Who am I kidding? It'll take a long time before people change their mindsets. People in the mainstream just love enforcing social norms on others, don't they?

Since I'm so fond of writing once in every semester...I shall give you a round up of what I have been doing this semester. Got back my grades, and they aren't too bad. Because I'm possibly an alien, I did best in my business ethics module, maybe because I always smile politely when I see my professor. The ethical radiance and loving kindness glint in my eyes. That could have tweaked it.

I got Bs in my other modules. My Gender module, my Social Psychology module, and my Spanish module, surprise of all surprises.

Business ethics: A class that requires you to form your own opinions on whatever ethical issues you are made to write essays on. Not much of a problem because I usually feel strongly when I read about marginalized people, and much of the module makes you think about people (and animals!) who are powerless to free themselves of unequal transactions and unfair practices.

Speaking of animals. You know, I'm not really one who falls to peer pressure, mainly because my closest friends share similar beliefs to mine. I am, however, susceptible to familial pressure, because their opinions mean a fair bit to me. So just today, my dear sibling was talking about the suffering that animals go through before they are slaughtered and fast forward a couple of weeks, and they appear on your dinner plate.

I do not like eating meat. I just...never liked the taste. Never did as a child, not even now. I do eat some fish, and some chicken, the occasional pork. But i like them in minimal sizes, in small amounts. My mother always said it was because of my lazy teeth. Which I grew up believing was true, I went around in primary school telling my dental nurse that I had lazy teeth when she suggested me crunching on meat so that my baby teeth could fall out when they were shaky. Of course, it never really occurred to me that I was the lazy one, and that I just...did not like meat. When I grew up and my parents turned vegetarian, I cut down on meat even more, not that it was much difference because I never ate that much in the first place. The idea about the suffering of animals was clear to me of course, everybody knows. But unless you are made to kill the animals with your bare hands yourself will you realize how cruel the practice is. Which was what my dear sibling was yammering about today. Yep, we are paying for our food when we buy meat dishes, when we eat seafood (which I DETEST by the way, people find that weird?), but basically we are just paying someone else to kill for us. Isn't that what the transaction is all about?

So who are the guilty parties here, is it us or the food people? Both of course. And I feel really guilty about it, even though I hardly eat meat in the first place. So my dear sibling isn't vegetarian, neither am I, though we don't enjoy meat too much. Except for my other dear sibling, who as the middle child, is doomed to stand out.

So I told my mother today that I am going to cut down even more meat, and my mother was like, "What meat?" Which is her way of saying that I'm already a pseudo-vegetarian, but you know, I still have a long way to go. It's going to be hard, of course. I like salmon, but it has to be about 4cm by 8cm, anything bigger than that I will not eat. And being vegetarian is a lot harder than I can imagine, it's hard enough for my parents having to explain to dolthead relatives what being vegetarian is about. They imagine it to be all vegetables and no fun...ok they got that right. But meat isn't everything. And there are other ways to supplement your diet, not just vegetables. A vegetarian meal can be tasty. I should know, I eat that at home. My favourite restaurants are vegetarian ones.

Being vegetarian also means lots more vitamins, lots more extra additives that you have to down to pump in whatever you are lacking from the meat you have given up. I'm definitely not ready to become a full vegetarian, but I'm hoping to make it there someday. I will start by cutting down even more, I already warned my mother to relinquish whatever meat there is (which isn't much really) to the meat-loving dear sibling, and I will try to follow my parents' vegetarian ways at home. When I'm outside, for convenience, I will of course eat the little meat things I get, like chicken nuggets which is quite scrumptious I admit.

And I don't even know why I got started on this, but let's move on.

Social Psych: Very interesting module, even though I'm not really all that into psych as an actual major. Nothing else to say about this except that I kinda like my grade for this one too.

Gender: I'm not really a feminist, I just believe there needs to be gender equality. Some feminists (many women I have met around here) mistake feminism to being powerful, so much so that it is at the expense of men. Hello, we are talking about gender equality here. If you so much as order a man to carry your BAG or to open the door for you, that doesn't show love, but more like your incapability to do such things on your own. Gender inequality right there.

And being a housewife doesn't mean you are unequal, doesn't make you a weak helpless woman. I am appalled that many "feminists" around here think that. No way. It is only unequal if the husband locks you up and forces you to stay at home. But hey, if someone wishes to do it if family finances allow it, then why not? That makes me frustrated and disappointed, when some women equate success to climbing up the corporate ladder. If that is their choice, then lovely. But remember that some women choose to go different paths, and that doesn't make them weaker. Being a housewife is a tough job as well, my mother is one. It's like a million jobs stuffed into one, with no rest. Working mothers is another issue, I don't want to go there. But it sickens me when I hear stuff from girls (yes, girls!) like, "I don't wanna be a housewife and just rot away and slack off at home."

Shows how little understanding one has and how little appreciation some people have for those who do relatively menial tasks. Yes, household chores are boring, and I have made it a point to do it even if I have an exam the next day. And yes, they are "brainless". Doesn't make a woman weaker. These are the people who may overlook the hard work of, say, construction workers and cleaners.

How did I even get here? I don't know, my brain bounces from one topic to another, I think I have 50 different brains? That explains my big head.

Anyway, I did pretty ok for this module too. I liked its relevance, and the issues discussed. And if you want to know more about my opinion for this module, you can try hacking into the school website to find out what I wrote in my midterm and end-of term course feedback sheet.

Spanish: Remember I had a post about how grades do not reflect reality? Like say, you can fail a module even though you know very much about it and is as informed as those who ace it? I feel that way all the time, because sometimes I read the "model essays" and I don't like it. Especially the model GP essays we used to read in JC, I always found some of them so structured and rigid, like the people were writing what they were taught and run-of-the-mill examples. My friends who did not do well knew so much more in terms of broad examples and unconventional viewpoints (which made sense if read with an open, liberal mind). And I have always told these friends, your grades do not reflect what you know. Of course, since I am not of high authority and I am usually somewhat mentally unstable and deranged when I'm around my friends, no one would really believe me.

And also because I did badly in GP myself, and I failed at one point, so of course I was not the best person to judge. People adviced me to change my writing style, to change my EXAMPLES (how on earth can you tell a student to do that, talk about stamping out creativity here!), to change my approach to writing essays. I said no. I said that I don't care if I consistently do badly, I'm NOT going to change my thinking just because some person (who, no doubt, has the power to FAIL me) doesn't like it. The unheard of examples I gave were not discussed in class, but from stuff that I read outside, from the random history books that I flip through when I stand for hours on end at Kino sneakily reading them. They didn't like it, they asked me to stick to what was discussed in class. Which was where I saw the flaw in GP in the first place, you cannot teach things like how to approach essays, and how to form opinions on issues, and what examples to use. Because it shows. To anyone with half a brain, if you learn by hard stuff that is taught in school, your essay will show your lack of passion and your lack of awareness. Forget it, I'm not changing my style, I said...not to my teacher of course. But in my head. And hey, it turned out well in the end for the a-levels.

My grade jumped up about 5 grades for the a-levels. Exactly the same thing that happened to me in the o-levels for English (same thing, I was told that my examples were too obscure, too different...). But for anyone who reads this and for anyone who has suffered under teachers telling you what style to pursue, and telling you to change this and that about yourself...don't. Just don't. I learnt from the mistakes where applicable, like if I missed the entire point of the essay question, then of course a fail would be expected. But if a fail was granted because of something like writing style and obscurity of examples...then forget it. Realize that your fail was only because the person who read the essay didn't share the same idea. Accept it and move on, but don't try to change and stamp out your ideas. Stay determined, and someone along the way, hopefully, will acknowledge it. Don't write to please people. Write to please yourself.

Hmmm. Long tirade, and I forgot again what I was talking about.

Oh right. So there you go, I don't think my Spanish grade accurately reflects my understanding of the language. A B- should indicate some form of understanding, some semi-talent in conducting conversations with a Spanish person, yes? If I am stuck in a lift with a Mexican person, will he understand me? Of course, I think the term "swine flu" is universal, so he should be able to understand me. All in jest, no offense.

I think I was lucky. I got through the examinable stuff, I reproduced what I was supposed to know. But I still don't think it accurately reflects my understanding. I know way less than what the grade showed. I can't even remember what to say anymore if I see Rafael Benitez and I want to tell him in Spanish that he looks much more handsome without his facial hair. That definitely means an F in Spanish, yes?

Just as a grade shortchanges your genuine understanding of a certain subject, it can also overreward you when you basically know next to nothing.

Since we are on the subject of my language inadequacies, I shall announce to the world that I am currently taking up Korean. Since my dream is to one day go to North Korea and write a book about it (I went public about my dream to many of the people in my Finishing Touch business module and people were kinda creeped out by me, it's not like I'm going to be doing jumping jacks with Kim Jong Il anytime soon, relax!), the Korean language would be a good thing to tackle. Of course, I am also highly inspired by the entertaining K-pop scene, and their endless variety shows. Hey, everyone has a guilty pleasure.

Since my Korean vocabulary from K-pop and variety shows is restricted much to the love arena (I love you, you love me, don't leave me, you are an idiot, you bastard) and whatnot, I decided that official lessons might do me much good.

Oh I'm exhausted. And what is this about Barca thrashing Real 6-2 in the Bernabeu?

And the news about Michel being Getafe coach, he's going to send the current team to relegation. And he has a knack of showing up in teams where his son is playing. Or semi-playing. I don't know what Adrian does anymore. He seems more like the guy stationed to usher Getafe fans to their seats before games. I feel like I've not heard about him for a lifetime. He might even be buried under the Getafe grounds for all we know, especially since his dad is the new coach and all. Should I check to see if it is confirmed?

I shall sometime in this lifetime. For now, goodbye.

Signed,

Sincerely, Me

Pearlyn

Or P-Dragon. Only those who know me AND G-Dragon will get it. Which narrows it down to hardly anyone in this world.